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Making sure that Muslims are well-matched to their spouses is a most important matter. Those who want to get married must have their priorities straight and be clear on what characteristics are most important in ensuring a marriage's success. Many characteristics are important in a husband or a wife, but some are far more important than others. God's Messenger said: "A woman is married for the excellence of her religious belief and life, her wealth or her beauty. You must prefer the one with an excellent religious belief and life." (Canan, a.g.e., 17:190) Thus, the first thing to be sought for in a potential spouse is excellence of religious belief and life.
Character is of extreme importance, and goes hand in hand with belief and piety. The Messenger described it as the purpose of his mission: "I have only been sent to perfect good character or morality" (Tabarani, Mu'jam al-Awsat, 7:74) and "That which will weigh the heaviest in the Balance in the Hereafter is good character" (Tirmidhi, 61, HN:2070). Believers with the most perfect belief are those with the best character. God's Messenger advised marrying childbearing women and preferring virginity, and said that a virgin woman is more likely to be pleased by a man and less likely to be devious and deceiving. Scholars stress that this good attribute applies to both the husband and the wife. Especially if it is each person's first marriage, both the man and the woman should be virgins. Beauty has a certain undeniable role to play, since one of marriage's purposes is to keep both spouses from sin. The best way to do this is to have a strong attraction between the spouses. However, this is something that surely grows over time, and in some cases first impressions can become an obstacle to a successful marriage. Recommended Steps. The following are important steps for those who want to get married and for those seeking to facilitate a marriage. - The entire process, in order to be successful with God's blessing, should be proper and consistent with the teachings of the Qur'an and the Sunna.
- Both spouses should seek to get married purely for God's good pleasure, fulfill the purpose of marriage, and put their full trust in God.
- If they do everything properly and in accordance with the rules of Islam, God will grant them a successful marriage.
- Both the man and the woman are allowed to see their perspective spouse before taking further steps.
Prohibited Proposals and 'Idda for Women. A divorced or widowed woman cannot remarry during her 'idda (the waiting period during which she is not allowed to remarry) and a man cannot propose marriage to such a woman, for this waiting period is part of the previous marriage and must not be violated. A pregnant woman's 'idda ends when she delivers the baby. If she is widowed but not pregnant, her 'idda is 4 months and 10 days. If she is divorced and it is not known if she is pregnant, her 'idda is three menstrual cycles. This 'idda relates to women who have menstrual periods; for women who do not menstruate, the 'idda is 3 months. The Girl's Consent. A girl has the right to decide about her marriage, and her father or guardian cannot override her objections or ignore her wishes.
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Islam & Humanity 
